by Josh Stieber, PhD
For many, religious beliefs and communities can be sources of comfort, purpose, and connection. But they can also be linked to abuse, betrayal, or manipulation. Per a recent investigation, it is estimated that at least one-third of U.S. adults have experienced religious trauma at some point in their life, with as many as one-in-five actively suffering from symptoms of religious trauma (Slade, et al., 2023).
Perhaps you are here because you or a loved one have experienced difficulties related to hurtful encounters in religious settings. Maybe you are a member or leader of a religious community and want to safeguard your community from hurtful practices. The goal of this article is to define religious trauma, highlight signs of it, and provide resources to help those who have been impacted
Religious Trauma stems from hurtful experiences related to religious practices, be it in a religious institution, a family, or other relationships. Many of these hurtful experiences are types of Spiritual Abuse. The study referenced above was conducted by Darren Slade, PhD—President of the Global Center for Religious Research—and his colleagues. Dr. Slade and his team use the following definition of Religious Trauma:
“Religious trauma results from an event, series of events, relationships, or circumstances within or connected to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that is experienced by an individual as overwhelming or disruptive and has lasting adverse effects on a person’s physical, mental, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.”
This definition provides us with an overview of the causes and impact of Religious Trauma. The following sections will describe practices that can be damaging as well as what that damage can do to an individual’s life.
What are the events, relationships, or circumstances in religious settings that can be traumatic? Below are some ways that a person can be damaged by their religious affiliation. Many of these are instances of Spiritual Abuse. A more detailed description of Spiritual Abuse can be found here. Research on Spiritual Abuse informs the following list:
Spiritual Manipulation: Leaders or members of a religious community may use beliefs and practices to manipulate, control, or exploit others.
Authoritarianism: Groups or families with authoritarian practices can restrict members’ autonomy and critical thinking, which often leads to other emotional consequences.
Abuse: Belief systems and structures can be twisted to enable and protect abusive behaviors–including emotional, psychological, or even physical abuse.
Excommunication: The threat of being kicked out of the community can lead to anxiety and loss of autonomy. If a person is removed, the loss of community can be extremely painful.
Fear of Hell or Divine Punishment: Belief systems that emphasize divine retribution for perceived transgressions can have major consequences for members’ wellbeing.
Sexual Repression: Some religious institutions emphasize strict sexual norms, leading to shame, guilt, and anxiety surrounding natural human behaviors.
Identity Suppression: When group norms are rigid and those outside the norms are judged and shamed, the result can be the suppression or denial of one’s authentic identity.
It is important to note that this list is not exhaustive. There are a wide variety of ways that people have been negatively impacted by religious teachings and practices. If you or someone you care about has been hurt, giving care, understanding, and compassion to their experiences takes priority.
When an individual is hurt by religious experiences, there can be lingering consequences. Marlene Winell, PhD is a psychologist who has extensively explored the impact of religious trauma, particularly in the context of leaving fundamentalist, high-demand religious groups. In her book Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion, she elaborates on symptoms of religious trauma. Her work informs the following list (again, the variety of human experiences is vast, so the following set of symptoms is not exhaustive).
Loss of Trust: Many types of harm can make it hard to put faith in others. Trusting authority figures may become especially problematic. The struggle to feel safe in relationships can extend well beyond the religious community.
Identity Confusion: Suppression of differences in religious settings can make it difficult to differentiate one’s own beliefs, tastes, and other aspects of their identity from community norms imposed. It may require a great deal of effort and attention for the impacted person to identify what they truly think, feel, or desire.
Guilt and Shame: Abusive religious teachings can instill feelings of guilt or shame. People can internalize messaging about being broken, wicked, fallen, or insignificant in ways that fuel a harsh and critical view of self.
Fear and Anxiety: Fear of divine punishment, spiritual consequences, or rejection may persist even after leaving an abusive religious setting. This fear can contribute to ongoing anxiety and stress about perceived mistakes.
Social Isolation: Social difficulties can arise from the loss of community. If someone leaves or is expelled from a religious institution, that person has lost a major part of their social support system. Anxiety about trust, fear of judgment, and challenges in expressing one’s authentic self can make it hard to find new connections.
Cognitive Dissonance: Individuals who have experienced spiritual abuse may grapple with cognitive dissonance: the discomfort or tension arising from holding conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or values simultaneously. This inner conflict can be emotionally taxing and may contribute to ongoing distress.
Anger and Resentment: Feelings of anger and resentment may arise towards the religious institutions, leaders, or teachings that were damaging. Holding these feelings can be draining. Alternatively, some may try to suppress these feelings, which can also be a draining process. While anger can be a useful emotion—for instance, it helps propel change—it can also be difficult to experience while waiting for inner resolution.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Those coming out of abusive settings may struggle with setting healthy boundaries, as they may have been conditioned to prioritize the needs and expectations of the religious community over their own.
Spiritual Crisis: Religious abuse can lead to a crisis of faith as individuals question their beliefs and struggle to find meaning or purpose outside of their religious environment. While this ultimately can be a restorative process, going through it can feel overwhelming.
Physical Health Issues: Prolonged exposure to the stress of abusive settings can have physical health consequences, including headaches, digestive issues, and other stress-related ailments.
Post Traumatic Symptoms: Those who have experienced religious trauma—as is the case for those experiencing other forms of trauma—can have post-traumatic symptoms. These can include nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety in crowds, hypervigilance, a sensitive startle response, and more.
As the examples above illustrate, Religious Trauma can take many shapes and can lead to significant challenges for those experiencing it.
It is also important to remember that Religious Trauma overlaps with various aspects of an individual’s identity and wider social contexts. LGBTQ+ individuals, for instance, may face additional layers of trauma in religious contexts that promote exclusion or condemnation based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Communities of color may experience religious trauma within the context of racialized power dynamics. These intersecting identities can heighten the impact of trauma. Therefore, it is essential to understand how a survivor’s Religious Trauma was experienced in light of other aspects of their identity.
If you or someone you care about identifies with symptoms of Religious Trauma, there are avenues for help. Confronting the effects of Religious Trauma can be much more manageable with the skill and support of a trained therapist. If you are looking for help in this area, here are some of the ways that a trained therapist can be of service:
A great starting point for finding a therapist who understands the challenges and complexities of Religious Trauma is through the Reclamation Collective. This organization provides various forms of support for people who have experienced Religious Trauma, including a directory of skilled therapists which can be found here.
For those in New York or Florida, the author of this article—Josh Stieber, PhD—also specializes in helping people who want to confront their Religious Trauma. More information can be found here.
Family and Friends
When it is available, it can be very helpful to have family and friends who can support you as navigate your Religious Trauma (though it should not feel forced). They can give empathy and validation if you want to share your experiences. They can also be sources of encouragement and inspiration as you seek out new community and rediscover a sense of purpose.
Online Communities
Online communities can play a vital role in supporting individuals dealing with Religious Trauma by providing a virtual space for connection, understanding, validation, solidarity, and a sharing of resources.
Books
Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion
Marlene Winell, Ph.D.
Recovering from Religious Trauma: A Guide for Parents and Family Members
Marlene Winell, Ph.D.
Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment
Janet Heimlich
Wounded Faith: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse
Rev. Dr. Neil Damgaard
Podcasts
Freedom from Spiritual Abuse—Natalie Kember, LCSW
Interviews on a variety of topics related to Spiritual Abuse and Religious Trauma.
Everyone’s Autonomous—William Clark
Explores the intersection of faith, trauma, and mental health.
The Exvangelical Podcast—Blake Chastain
Focuses on the experiences of those who have left Evangelical religious backgrounds.
The Life After Podcast—Brady Hardin and Chuck Parson
Stories of individuals who have left various religious faiths and are rebuilding their lives afterward.
Girlscamp—Hayley Rawle
An ex-Mormon explores her experiences in and out of the church.
Holy Hurt—Hillary McBride, PhD
A mental health expert and her guests discuss Religious Trauma and healing.
Martyr, She Wrote—Anna Clark Miller, LPC-S, LMHC
A therapist and Religious Trauma survivor interviews other survivors as well as experts.
This Little Light of Mine—James Powell
The journey of a gay man who was raised in an oppressive Evangelical community.
Recovery from religious trauma involves disentangling oneself from harmful teachings and forging a new path toward personal growth. While it likely involves a great deal of pain, it is a journey that can ultimately bring great growth and freedom. Building a support network is vital, providing spaces for sharing stories and finding solidarity. Celebrating milestones in the recovery process, no matter how small, contributes to a positive mindset.
For those embarking on this journey, you will have the opportunity to learn more about yourself. Stepping away from rules and expectations, you can discover what you truly feel, believe, want, and enjoy. You can shape a connection with whatever sources give you a sense of purpose and this will take you to exciting and unexpected places. While this type of growth may seem far away, the fact that you are reading articles like this shows that you have already begun your journey towards authenticity.
Photos
Shipwreck by Milan Seitler
Locked Door by Hussan Amir
Lost Forest by Mitchel Hartley
Therapy Couch by Mihn Pham
